I’m not going to pretend that having a baby suddenly gave me positive thoughts and a love for what I saw in the mirror. That would be the farthest thing form the truth. What it did do, was force me to actually challenge the negative thoughts I often had about myself, my body and my worth.
As someone who struggled with an eating disorder for much of their time in high school and college, I am no stranger to negative body image. I am also very familiar with the tools and resources that counselors provide you with to battle those negative thoughts. While I did find these tools to be helpful, I don’t think that I truly understood what it meant to “take every thought captive”.
Recovered?
They say that there are multiple parts of recovery from an eating disorder. First, there is the physical restoration of healthy body weight and diet. Once these are stable, you are often better able to address the other parts of recovery. These include emotional and mental patterns.
I would argue that one is never fully without the eating disorder, even once they are considered “recovered”. Instead, I think that recovery is more like a homeostatic state. Rather than “arriving” at a place of recovery, we constantly evaluate, shift and maintain a stable state.
Unfortunately, many people stop short of thriving in recovery. Instead settling for simply surviving. This means that they know the ways in which they can just get by, making just enough effort to change certain things, but not actually getting rid of all past behaviors. I am definitely guilty of this half-assed recovery. In a sense, this way of addressing recovery means that you don’t actually do any mental or emotional healing. Instead, you “look” recovered and stop at physical recovery.
Related: Life After Anorexia
Challenging Negative Thoughts
Once I got pregnant with my daughter, I knew that I wanted to be an example of truth and positive self-image. I began to see changes in the way that I thought about food. I stopped seeing it as something to earn or control. Instead seeing it as nourishment and energy for my growing child.
I also began to challenge negative thoughts about myself and my body. It sounds a little silly, but I reminded myself that I literally had another life growing inside of me and I did not want to “pass on” those thoughts to her. I imagined that every thought I had was shared with my unborn child. Just as the food I ate was used to form her body, my thoughts were used in the shaping of her mind.
While I know that this isn’t exactly how fetal development works, I do think there is power in this idea. What if the thoughts we have are shaping not only our unborn children, but those we are currently raising?
If this were the case, it would seem that we need to be careful with what we allow to stay in our thoughts. Are we truly examining every thought to determine if it is helpful and if we want to “pass it on” to our children? This idea forced me to truly challenge negative thoughts about myself and my body and taught me the practice of “taking every thought captive”. This has led to a better place of recovery and enabled me to see that recovery is not one place we stay at. Instead, it is a constant evaluating, shifting and growing.
What Now?
I think it is important to note that you don’t need to have a history of disordered eating to use this idea. Whatever your past or present look like, you can (and should!) monitor your thoughts and consider whether they are something you want to pass on to your children.
For me this looks like continuing to take my thoughts captive while I raise my daughter and teach her what is truly important. Your thoughts influence your actions and words, which influence those around you. I want my thoughts and words to have a positive impact on my daughter. I want to instill truth and grace in her mind rather than the negative thoughts about herself or her body.
What about you? Are you challenging those negative thoughts in your own life? I would love to hear from you and how this idea might be helping you challenge the negative thoughts in your own life!
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